Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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