Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
