Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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