A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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