My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
