We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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