Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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