I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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