That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
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