His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he fucked my hip out of place.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize