ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
