I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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