Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
