Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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