remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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