I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
