lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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