Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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