i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
