i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
