Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
