Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
