To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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