if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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