If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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