If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
