I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Randomize
