Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
