I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
