grandma shit on top of the toilet
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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