After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
