then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
