32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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