I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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