When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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