because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize