You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize