Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
