Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
