I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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