2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
