after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
