I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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