i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
