i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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