At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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