I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
