i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
