I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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