too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
