I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm determined to sit on that face.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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