Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
