he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
