Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Can I color on your dick again?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
