So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
