remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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