This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
