Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
