I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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