but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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