You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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