I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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