I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize