What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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