Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
